Scotland’s Only Vineyard Continues to Not Produce Wine

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English wine might be having a moment, but don’t expect to see bottles emerging from other parts of the United Kingdom anytime soon.

Thanks to a (predictably) rainy climate, Scotland’s only would-be vintner, former chef and food writer Christopher Trotter, is having trouble producing potable wines. When Trotter first planted the vines for his Chateau Largo label in 2011 in Fife (a region north of Edinburgh), he believed himself to be a pioneer, founding a vineyard in a place that would become the next Loire Valley thanks to climate change. So far, it hasn’t worked out. Critics described his first vintage as enjoyable in a “bizarre, masochistic way” at best and “undrinkable” at worst. This past year, Trotter was unable to even produce even that, owing to a particularly rainy season.

Trotter is hopeful, though. “I will continue to prune and weed the vines, and generally take care of them,” he told The Times. “But I really need someone to come and make the wine with me.” Enterprising winemakers, this is your time to shine. Head over to Scotland and make history. All you have to do is produce a bottle of wine that’s better than “undrinkable.”

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