Poor Heidi Montag. The reality TV star has been relentlessly scrutinized in the tabloids for undergoing ten plastic surgery procedures in a day. And in the recent season premiere of her show, MTV’s The Hills
, she goes home to Crested Butte, Colorado, only to get criticized by her family over dinner at The Timberline Restaurant
. Heidi's stepfather says her face is more structured (“like you’re frozen"). But the biggest embarrassment comes after she attempts to eat her burger
: “I can’t really chew it,” she admits. Her mom's snarky response: “Do you want me to put it in a blender for you?”
Here, a few no-chew post-op recipes for Heidi or anyone who hasn't had an eyebrow lift, nose job, cheek and lip injections, shaved chin, ear pinning, breast augmentation, back “shaping," and inner and outer thigh liposuction:Strawberry-Almond Smoothie
(pictured)Creamy Tomato SoupVanilla Bean-Whipped Sweet PotatoesVenetian Lemon Shake
I’ve been dying to sign up for HBO ever since I heard about the New Orleans-based show, Treme, and now I have another reason: As Eater reported earlier this week, superstar chefs Tom Colicchio, Eric Ripert, Wylie Dufresne and David Chang all make cameos on this Sunday’s episode. In the photo here, they are standing at the bar at Patois—a restaurant that makes frequent appearances on the show. Set in a former po’ boy shop in a quiet uptown neighborhood, Patois is where I’d hang out every week if I lived in NOLA. The restaurant has great cocktails (they’re famous for one made with gin and bread-and-butter pickle juice) and terrific food from chef Aaron Burgau, who is such a diehard Saints fan that he showed my friend and me his “Who dat!” tattoo inside his lower lip on my last visit. I especially loved the crab salad: tad chunks of sweet lump meat, fresh hearts of palm and bright local sprouts lightly dressed with a lemon basil vinaigrette. Burgau’s food isn’t all so ethereally light: His smoked rabbit gumbo—dark as black coffee and studded with spicy andouille sausage—made me finally get the appeal of this Louisiana classic. I can’t wait to go back.
In the meantime, I'll be making some of these recipes here and here.
Spring Onion Soup from James.
The trend of foraging for ingredients continues to grow, even in New York City. To promote the 778 plant species native to the five boroughs, botanist Mariellé Anzelone created NYC Wildflower Week, which runs May 1-9. New York City chefs are featuring dishes made from native edible plants like ramps, fiddlehead ferns and nettles on their menus and hosting salon-style “Wild Tastings” (dinners with guest foragers). Galen Zamarra of MAS Farmhouse is preparing trout piscator stuffed with wild ramp and smoked trout mousse and Bryan Calvert of James is serving an awesome spring onion soup with boar lardon and pecorino. Foragers looking for new recipe ideas should check out chef-author Louisa Shafia’s native edibles cooking class tomorrow where she’ll be teaching guests how to make stinging nettle pesto and lamb’s-quarters-and-pea-shoots soup.
© Michael Muser
Curtis Duffy's Alaskan king crab dish.
The past two days have been a blur of eating and drinking as the country's top chefs decended on NYC for the James Beard Awards. Of all the food I've eaten in the last 48 hours I can't stop thinking about the insanely brilliant Alaskan king crab dish Curtis Duffy and his talented crew from Avenues in Chicago were serving after last night's awards gala. I met Curtis earlier in the day and asked if it wasn't a bit ambitious to attempt to pull off a mini version of one of his hyper-creative restaurant dishes for a hungry audience of 1,200. His response: "If I'm going to NYC to cook for the James Beard Awards, I'm going to go big." He certainly did. Lovely chunks of Alaskan king crab were served in a cucumber consommé topped with a delicate three-sugar tuile that was garnished with wild-steelhead roe, kalamansi and lemon balm. The dish was complex, refreshing, artistic and came served in a little plastic cup that conveniently cradled into the top of my wine glass. I was beyond impressed, to the point where I had to have seconds. If that's what Curtis and his team can pull off for a crowd at Avery Fisher Hall, I can only imagine the full-blown version they serve at Avenues.
© Eleven Madison Park
Chef Daniel Humm at last year's Derby party.
I couldn’t be more excited about the weekend. During the day, I’ll be drinking mint juleps at Eleven Madison Park’s awesome Kentucky Derby party. Chef Daniel Humm has created Southern-inspired dishes like hush puppies with turkey leg confit and sorrel butter, biscuits with country ham and rhubarb marmalade, and fried chicken and waffles with bourbon maple syrup. The Master Distiller at Maker’s Mark will also be hosting bourbon tastings. (Maker’s Mark gave Humm some moonshine-esque White Dog–unaged Maker’s Mark bourbon–to play around with, and he's created a mignonette out of it for the oysters at the raw bar.)
At night, I’m amped to watch Floyd Mayweather, Jr., take on Sugar Shane Mosley in the boxing ring. After an unhealthy day of Southern-fried indulgence, I’ll be cooking a healthy dinner for friends inspired by dishes from Boston chef (and boxing hobbyist) Barbara Lynch.