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"Trump's Great America tastes like an M.S.G.-flavored kitchen sponge lodged between two other sponges."

Gillie Houston
December 15, 2016

One might think a President-elect mere weeks away from his inauguration would have some serious issues to grapple with—international disputes, climate change, food policies, job creation. However, if you're Donald Trump, a slightly more pressing matter is firing back at criticisms of the restaurant situated below your gilded Fifth Avenue penthouse.

In his most recent tirade, Trump has taken aim at Vanity Fair for their less-than-flattering review of the business man-turned-politician's Trump Grill. The restaurant, which is located in the lobby of Trump Tower—the protest hotspot/tourist trap/residency of the President-elect—has recently become a popular dining locale for supporters and fans hoping to get a taste of Trump-level luxury.

In Tina Nguyen's scathing review of the grill, the writer criticizes everything from the food ("flaccid, grey Szechuan dumplings with their flaccid, gray innards") to the décor ("a stingy number of French-ish paintings that look as though they were bought from Home Goods"). She reports that the Grill's Gold Label Burger tastes worse than an eyeball she once ate on a dare, and says if the cheeseburger is representative of Trump's iconic 'make America great again' slogan, then "Trump's Great America tastes like an M.S.G.-flavored kitchen sponge lodged between two other sponges."

Nguyen also utilizes the restaurant as a whole to aim a larger criticism at the man himself, writing, "The allure of Trump's restaurant, like the candidate, is that it seems like a cheap version of rich."

Following the publication of the article, Trump decided to launch his own attack on Vanity Fair with his weapon of choice—Twitter. "Has anyone looked at the really poor numbers of @VanityFair Magazine. Way down, big trouble, dead! Graydon Carter, no talent, will be out!" the mogul tweeted early Thursday morning, calling out the magazine's current editor.

While it's unlikely that Nguyen's article will drive away hungry Trump supporters, or Trump's tweets will ward off Vanity Fair readers, one thing is certain: According to one waiter, the Trump Tower Grill burrito bowls still hold a place in the Donald's heart.