What Not To Do
A classic, good version of the French 75.
© Paul Costello

When Redditors recently started talking about their favorite cocktails, things got crazy fast. Though some upstanding posters suggested classics like a New Orleans-inspired Vieux Carré and a simple vodka gimlet, others revealed more disturbing ideas, many of which involved booze-ifying candy or mixing anything and everything with Red Bull. Here are some of the strangest responses, arranged from weird to (possibly) palatable.

Leatherface. A shot of Sambuca with a splash of Pepto Bismol on top. This might be the first drink ever that promises to give you a stomach problem and solve it in one slug.

Absinthe, vodka, crème de menthe and milk. One Redditor claimed that after consuming three of these concoctions, they dreamed about fighting a dragon while (in real life) ripping the mirrors and towel holders from the walls in their bathroom. Drink with caution.

American 75. A French 75 combines gin or cognac with Champagne, sugar and lemon juice. This lowbrow version subs in rye whiskey and Miller High Life (a.k.a. The Champagne of Beers). The cleverness of the name far trumps its potential tastiness.

Colorado Bulldog. A White Russian with a splash of Coca-Cola. While this drink probably isn't going to intrigue any of the country's top mixologists, it seems like it might a good fix for someone with a sweet tooth who’s had a bad day.

Coconut water and Scotch. The Reddit user who suggested this “cocktail” recommended it for people who are, for some reason, being forced to drink Scotch but don’t really like it. Who knows, it might be great.

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