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Thanksgiving Gravy Candy and More Absurd Sweets

Meatball Bubble Gum

Meatball Bubble Gum Photo courtesy of

I have a high tolerance for candy. My preference is for mini bars that have a good ratio of chocolate to caramel to something salty and crunchy (I'm looking longingly at you, Take 5 bars!). I can, however, also blow through non-chocolate items like Skittles or even Nerds.

But there are some candies out there that are so ridiculously gross and silly that I won't have anything to do with them. You can say, “They're just regular candy dressed up as something silly.” And you'd be right. Still, I'm going to leave all the gummy internal organs and pickle gumballs for someone else.

Meatball Bubble Gum These candies look exactly like beige-brown meatballs, but they're actually regular bubblegum-flavored. And probably good for a practical joke at family dinner.

Onion Ring Mints These mints, which successfully give you onion breath, are at the top of my Avoid list. You get 100 fried onion flavored mints in each tin for $3.

Gummy Internal Organs A 38-piece bag of this candy includes gummy brains, kidneys, hearts and intestinal tracts. All are individually wrapped, and come in assorted fruit flavors.

Gravy Candy For better or worse, these red-and-white striped hard candies are gravy-flavored, and might be handy at Thanksgiving.

Fish Head Lollipop These lollipops look exactly, and I mean exactly, like the severed head of a small fish, complete with bloody red insides. The flavor is sour lemon, and they're $6 each.

Giant Gummy Worm Here's a gross candy that's also big enough to put you into sugar shock: A 3-pound, 2-foot long gummy worm, available in Blue Raspberry–Red Cherry flavor, or Orange & Yellow. (Perhaps that's orange & lemon flavor? I don't think I'll ever know.) They're $30 each.

Harry Potter Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans I'm sure you've seen these before. I'll just remind you that among the 20 flavors you might get in each box you could find Booger, Dirt, Earthworm, Earwax, Rotten Egg, Sausage and Vomit.

Pickle Gumballs As you might expect, these are dill pickle–flavored gumballs, tart and slightly sweet. They arrive in a tin that features a picture of a pickle blowing a bubble.

Chocolate Zombie Fingers Arrayed on a Styrofoam meat tray are these green-colored chocolate fingers with gushing fruit candies inside so you get the proper bloody effect.

Spider in Candy Boxes The boxes look like they hold standard candy: Mighty Mints, Spots Gummy Dots and Rocks, the boxes say. But inside there's a spider instead of candy. At least it's made of plastic.

Related: Ultimate Candy Guide
Best Chocolate in the U.S.
Homemade Chocolate Candies

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