© Ellie Miller

Poor Heidi Montag. The reality TV star has been relentlessly scrutinized in the tabloids for undergoing ten plastic surgery procedures in a day. And in the recent season premiere of her show, MTV’s The Hills, she goes home to Crested Butte, Colorado, only to get criticized by her family over dinner at The Timberline Restaurant. Heidi's stepfather says her face is more structured (“like you’re frozen"). But the biggest embarrassment comes after she attempts to eat her burger: “I can’t really chew it,” she admits. Her mom's snarky response: “Do you want me to put it in a blender for you?”

Here, a few no-chew post-op recipes for Heidi or anyone who hasn't had an eyebrow lift, nose job, cheek and lip injections, shaved chin, ear pinning, breast augmentation, back “shaping," and inner and outer thigh liposuction:

Strawberry-Almond Smoothie (pictured)
Creamy Tomato Soup
Vanilla Bean-Whipped Sweet Potatoes
Venetian Lemon Shake

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