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Five Tips for the Novice Male Cook

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1. Do not attempt any dish involving yeast.

2. Never try to make a dish that originates from another hemisphere.

3. Opt for slow-cooking stews that won't suffer if you leave them on the stove for an hour or two longer than you meant to.

4. Don't try anything "impressive"; go for "edible."

5. Leave adequate time to order pizza.